It has to come to my attention that my fellow sista’s have lost their damn minds! I’m talking about women of all color’s who think it is “normal” or “ok” to support a man, just to have some in-house ding -a -ling!!
I recently had an interesting message sent to me by a woman who is currently my ex-boyfriend’s (from 2008) girlfriend. Babyyyy, yes I said from my ex’s current girlfriend, and she says:
“I was thankful and appreciated you last year when I called you and you respected and defriended him and even when you posted the picture and basically told him to step off. I was like wow, she gets it. You didn’t have to do that, but you did. He was upset and blamed me for you doing that. Said that he knew you and you were probably very pleased that you had all this attention focused on you. But then he reaches out again. I didnt go looking to snoop when I saw that he had been messaging you. I was getting ready for my interview that morning to download my resume and get the train schedule to get to the interview because Eric had gotten tickets on my car and didnt pay them and I got the boot. Anyway, as I sat down and looked at the screen he hadnt closed his messages. There your conversations were. I read every word. I felt like a fool. I was excited about this interview with Vera Wang so I could make more money to help take care of my family. Eric, my 13yr old daughter and me. Because Eric has not worked in over 2 years. And there it was, when he was suppose to be looking for a job, talking about how hard hes looking, hes chatting with you and some other girl reminiscing about the relationship you had with him, and with her asking for her phone number so they can talk. He doesn’t even have a phone! He was using my daughters phone! He is 35 with using my 13 year old little girls phone. I sat there a minute, hurt, shocked and furious. Then I went to wake him up, because he was asleep,( as usual) and told him to get the fuck out! He said OK, but said the only reason he did it was because I had went to an ex boyfriends play a month ago. Always an excuse. He also said it was because, he thought I was going to sleep with someone else. I was so angry to see that when he reached out to you and the other girl, he did so around his bday when my daughter and I tried so hard to make it special for him with limited funds when nobody else did anything for him. His mom or sisters didn’t even call because they felt strange about having to call him on either me or my daughters phone. So thats what he said.
Eric has been with me for 3 years in a week from now. And he has changed so much. I know he is depressed about not working and that has caused alot of strife in our relationship. You were not the only hurtful factor, or women that he has reached out to. But I do think that you were special to him, he says you were his first love. Said he still loved you and always would, just not the same. For the 1st year we were together, he went on and on about you, I was not threatened. I understood. I gave him time to talk about it, and deal with whatever it was he had to get out. Had I known that 3 years later it would be the same thing, with you and others, I would have ran.
While I financially carry the burden, compose his resume, cover letter, send him jobs, encourage him,worried about how we are going to eat and pay bills,he still finds the time to worry about chasing you down and flirting with women. He is amazing and so loving to my daughter, he helps her with homework ,cooks for her, very loving, supportive and affectionate to her. Very protective of her, and that’s part of why I kept trying. As a mother I am sure you understand. Think its very hard to find a man who will love you and your child. I would not care if Eric had been friends with you. He said that he didn’t want anything but a friendship with you, but by his words that I read you and I both know thats not true. While he is sleeping with me at night, telling me he loves me and making plans for our future he is saying these things to you and this other women. I am not a weak or dumb women. You may think I am crazy, for telling you all this. I have been you before and understand how awkward it is to be in your position. My mother advised me to not to say anything else to bring you into this. But I feel like I didnt, he did. He opened the door to invite you into our relationship. You dont know me, Im not your friend, you didn’t ask for this.I get it. But its important for me to let you know how this has caused so much pain. I am praying for peace in my life, Eric to get out of this funk he is in, and for my heart to heal and some type of direction on what to do. I have no ill will towards you. Im confident you are a good woman.
He hasnt even apologized. He says the relationship was difficult and thats why he did what he did. But that he did nothing wrong. But the day before he was holding me saying how much he loved me, cooking for me playing DJ sending me youtube songs, talking about if we were to have a child, you know he hadn’t been keen on having children. This is hard. So hard. Im not from Chicago. I moved here from Oklahoma, and Eric and my daughter were my only family here. It hurts. Everything in life has consequences. Im not perfect. I have not been the best in my relationship with Eric. But I love him.This may be just entertaining to you, or flattering, or whatever. But this is my life. Amanda, my daughter, and Eric are my life. They are my family.”
What in the flying fuck is this shit? I didn’t know if I should laugh, get pissed off, or feel pity for this girl. What grown ass woman in her right mind would think that this behavior is normal or ordinary? I’ve heard about his type of behavior, read about it in books and occasionally saw it in movies, but this is some real life shit. Now i know what it’s like to love a man so deeply you can’t think straight! But Boo-Boo it comes a time that you have to take those love fog glasses off and see what’s right in front of you.
If a man is not married to you, or engaged to you for a considerable amount of time you have absolutely no duty to him. I repeat (for them dumb-ass broads who can’t comprehend) you have no FUCKING duty to take care of a MAN!!!!
Now i’m all for standing by your man and supporting his decisions. However, when that fool decides that he ain’t, won’t or dosen’t need to work that’s when you say “nigga, please!”
This is when Woman -to -Woman lessons come in:
1. Don’t let your man compare you to his ex! PERIOD!!
2. Shut down any talk about the ex. Soon as that shit comes out his mouth; let him know you ain’t her, don’t want to be her, and don’t want to hear about her!
3. Respect YOURSELF and don’t give a man your joy! It can and will destroy you inside.
4. Be extremely careful, cautious, and do a background check on a man before you shack up with him if your a single mom; shit period!!!
5. Never, ever, ever…… evaaaa…..evaaaaa…… contact the ‘ex’ or any other woman about YOUR MAN! GO directly to your MAN and handle it!
6. Be mindful that facebook, text messaging and other forms of technology can and will be used by men to communicate with friends. Some men have female friends that are just that ‘friends’.
Now ladies you have been schooled on some real woman shit. Get it together ladies, cause letting a man walk all over you is allowing another woman to come in and fuck your man.
A man will only do, what you allow him to!